Depressed

How did it happen?  Literally where did the time go?  Days, weeks, months, YEARS have passed by me and I have been in a fog of madness missing it all. How is it avoidable?  I mean REALLY how is it avoidable?  When you have 3 kids in 4-1/2 years how is it avoidable? Today Gabby is graduating from preschool. My […]

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There’s not a maximum amount of shit that G-d bestows. It’s not like the median amount of shit is two earth shattering disasters and then you are covered. My grandpa lost his whole family – parents, brother and sister, all separately at a very young age. No one up above said that he’d met his quota so no more disasters […]

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Sometimes I feel like life is a foggy, surreal dream. The sleep deprivation and craze of waking hours doesn’t help the situation. But the largest feeling is that I just can’t believe this is my life, that I am here doing this. I thought I was going to stay fifteen forever. On the cusp of life really starting. And somehow […]

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When my husband came home after his interview, he had an extra bounce in his step. He was excited in a way that I hadn’t seen in a long time. I felt a huge lump in the back of my throat, similar to the one I have today. This last week Adam stayed home, he is in between his old […]

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I had high hopes for Mother’s Day. High hopes for a Mother’s Day that doesn’t exist for me…yet at least. I had hopes for a day without temper tantrums. I had visions of a day where only kind words were sent my way. I dreamt up a day where crabbiness was only a mythological thing that was in story books. […]

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My mom talks about the assassination of President John F. Kennedy as an end of their innocence. After that point, things were never the same. When my generation was born, we were born into a world where Presidents, civil rights leaders and musicians were gunned down and killed. We were never as innocent as our parents. In our lifetime, schools […]

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My last few blogs about my youngest have been more optimistic. I mentioned the joys of reaching that 3 month milestone without fear of returning to my job, I mentioned that we are seeing more smiles and overall (knock on wood) I am experiencing at least a couple nights a week of more than less sleep. Then, like most things […]

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Life is different. It’s gonna be different forever. Yet this phase that we are at, this floundering, disastrous state is (I hope) temporary. I totally get that. Yet sometimes there’s a ray of sunshine in the midst of it that almost makes me ready to go back into the battle field. It used to be a night out on the […]

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Well actually they are a little rosier than they should be. This morning I woke up with pink eye. Are you kidding me?!?! I didn’t even think it was possible to get pink eye unless you made contact with someone that has it! No one else in my house has it and I have been held hostage in this house […]

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