Anxiety

There’s not a maximum amount of shit that G-d bestows. It’s not like the median amount of shit is two earth shattering disasters and then you are covered. My grandpa lost his whole family – parents, brother and sister, all separately at a very young age. No one up above said that he’d met his quota so no more disasters […]

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Through the course of my life I’ve been cursed with debilitating migraines. At one point, I had to be hospitalized for an entire week because I had an eight week long migraine! I mean, serious stuff with this migraine business. Since I’ve been in the baby making phase of my life, I have only had a few minor tales to […]

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Why is it that bad things happen to good people? That thought haunts my mind. That thought makes me hold on tighter to my kids before they leave my grasp (as if I can protect in my arms). That sentiment makes me beg everyone to drive safely (as if the words alone will keep them safe). Every time I hear […]

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Nobody is going to be shocked when I say that I’m overwhelmed. I’m overwhelmed by having three kids. I’m overwhelmed by having an absentee husband. I’m overwhelmed by the amount of laundry I must do in a given week. I’m overwhelmed by the amount of groceries I must buy weekly. The list goes on and on and on. What is […]

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My brain has become absolute mush. You know that Tasmanian devil that spins around and around, that is my head all the time these days. At any given moment I could have a panic attack over which child I forgot, where I’m supposed to be or what I’ve neglected. I’m afraid that this is just the beginning of the end. […]

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Today we had a kindergarten play date at the school park in preparation for the big day on Thursday. The single-handed worst thing that could happen in that instance happened. No, he didn’t break an arm. No, he didn’t get in trouble. Worse than all…his feelings were hurt!!!!!!!!!! GASP! We are walking into kindergarten knowing very few people and only […]

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There’s something about when I turn off the lights and it’s quiet in the house that makes my husband traveling extra hard. It’s not that I’m living in the 50s where I need my man to protect me to feel safe. It’s something about having three kids and knowing I’m the only adult. I spend a lot of the day […]

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April was supposed to be our month. We both celebrate birthdays in April. We’d been on our house search and our goal was to buy something by April—plenty of time to close and move in before the wedding. Well, April was our month alright, just not remotely how we imagined… April 1st—I get the most heebie-jeebie, skin-crawly sensation in my […]

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Today at the gym an alarm sounded. My heart dropped. My head throbbed. All I could think about were my babies in the kids’ club. Could it be a gunman? A natural disaster? Fortunately everything in there was fine…this time. A rainstorm used to be a pleasant way to spend an afternoon cuddled up watching movies. Now I find myself […]

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