One big present or eight little presents? For the majority of my childhood, I received eight presents for Chanukah (one gift per night). Of course the eight gifts weren’t huge – some were things like new pajamas, others were fun earrings or maybe even a book. My mom always made sure I had a gift each night to open.
I thought it was a great custom and have continued to perpetuate the custom the last couple of years. However this year I decided that we have enough junk around this house and the kids would be better off if I got them one thing that was really nice.
In my quest to find that one thing that was really nice, I bought them each about ten little gifts. Doh! Drew really wanted that Spiderman costume and Gabby always wants Drew’s sports slippers so she really NEEDS princess slippers. And so it went. The good news is that I never found that one inspiring gift that would substitute all these little gifts and so the tradition continues.
The problem is that we have already, as previously mentioned, had a few other Chanukah parties where the kids have received more gifts that have all reminded me why Drew (especially) doesn’t really deserve one small gift, let alone the hundreds he seems to get from the myriad of friends and family members in his life.
If it’s a celebration where there are several gifts, he jumps ahead to the next gift without even really looking let alone appreciating the previous gift. If it’s a gift that he doesn’t like, he is not shy in conveying that message and even cries at times.
I know that his initial feelings are not necessarily indicative of how he will feel about the gift moving forward. Plus I also feel pretty confident that he will like the gifts I got him. But I’m embarrassed, frustrated and feel that the spirit of this gift giving season has gone out the door.
Years ago my friends’, who have a very well-mannered, sweet child, kid threw the birthday present we got him at me (ironically when he was three) because he already had it at home. He has always been a polite child and continues to be all the years later. So clearly some of this behavior is age appropriate.
How do I get him through this? Do I continue to charge forward, spoiling him with eight days of gifts, continuing to allow people to shower him with gifts despite this behavior? And how do I handle the immediate circumstance when I’m embarrassed and appalled by his behavior?
I'm a mother, wife, daughter, and friend. Until recently I was also an employee. Now that I'm a full time mom, I've decided to make my thoughts, concerns and feelings public.
As the mom of the kid who threw their present at u, I say spoil them! They’re only young once. They eventually learn the importance of being thankful.
If my kids turn out half as good as yours, then I guess I’ll spoil away!