New Job!!!

April 11, 2013

When my kids are more grown up and I decide to re-enter the workforce, I think I know exactly what my new career should be – a negotiator. You know kinda like that movie from the 90s with Kevin Spacey and Samuel Jackson. Although I probably will be so good at that job that I will have to train fellow negotiators.

From the moment we wake up in the morning (how about you wear this shirt because your best friend loves stripes and Derek Rose wore a striped shirt during his interview yesterday?) until we go to bed at night (how about you wear the ya-ya pjs because we read a Cinderella book this afternoon and she would WANT you to wear pjs like this?) I am negotiating. I’m negotiating until I’m blue in the face.

Sometimes I wake up in the morning before the maniacs have risen and I just brace myself. What curve ball will we overcome today?! If we let this nice boy press the elevator button this time, how about you press the button once we get inside? Well, that didn’t go over…so now what? What is an appropriate punishment, redirection, example I want to make for this hurdle?

More and more I’m finding that I’m sick and tired of using everything as a teaching interaction. Historically I have not stepped down for most of these incidents because I always felt that if I showed my weakness I would never be able to regain my control. News flash, I have had and continue to have no control over my kids. I’m killing myself with the constant reprimanding and assigning the appropriate circumstance to match the behavior.

So pretty much my theory of not negotiating with terrorists has gone out the window. I say give them the east bank because I just don’t have the energy to fight it. You want to beat me up, sleep in your jersey, kick me while putting on your pull up, whatever…go ahead. There are just times that the consequence I suffer by appropriately disciplining is just not worth it. I want peace, even if it means that I have to swallow my distaste for their behavior.

So maybe now that I think about it, I would not make a good negotiator after all. Maybe I’m better off relating to The Peacemaker with George Clooney and Nicole Kidman also circa 90s. Frankly I have such little patience for those damn terrorists that I’m waving that stinking white flag all too often.

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