When I was working, I experienced major Sunday night blues. I would cry and feel completely depressed about the prospect of going the whole week without solid time with my kids until the following weekend. I always thought that not working would give me the chance to get rid of those Sunday night blues. What I have now realized is that all that has changed is what I’m blue about.
In a world full of Drew’s challenging personality, Gabby’s extremely tough age and Noah’s overwhelming needs, it has been pretty infrequent that I can just sit back and enjoy our current status. And once again I don’t mean to sound so negative, but it sometimes feels like our weeks are spent on the battle ground. Almost as if I’m a circus act juggling pins of fire, only I can’t throw and I certainly can’t catch.
However, occasionally the unthinkable actually happens – I have a moment or a few moments of feeling nothing but content at our current place in life. Huh?!? Of course this only seems to happen during the weekend when our fivesome is doing some fun outing.
The interesting thing about that is that there is no other time during the week that I feel even remotely in control of my children, in control of the situation or able to enjoy all three of my kids. Or truth be told it’s probably because the underlying theme of that sentence is “control.” With Adam around for those outings I don’t have to be the only one in control. That alone alleviates a lot of the pressure I’m under Monday thru Friday.
I’m so very lucky to have my mom most days to help me, and she’s a huge help. With her though, I’m still the mom with the assistant. With Adam, we completely share the burden as equal partners. So when he goes back to work Monday morning, I know that Monday brings the circus act again. Monday brings the fire pins coming at me faster than I can manage. Monday brings a juggling act that no training out there can properly prepare me for. And that is why Sunday night I get the blues.