Approximately a year and a half ago, I quit my job. It was one of the most nerve wracking decisions I have ever made but I took a leap of faith (?) and did it. In some ways it has been my most excruciatingly hard year and a half but also my most deliriously happy year and a half.
Almost a year ago, we found our current house. Despite the damage and ugliness that surrounded us, I fell in love and saw a brilliant future here. So almost a year ago, we made one of the most potentially reckless decisions and bought our second home while being a single income family.
The decisions we make in our lives, are they always well-calculated, informed, rational decisions? Or sometimes are they emotional, lustful choices that we irresponsibly make? Could it be that some of these “decisions” or “choices” are at the hand of something so much larger than just emotionally charged, flawed human beings?
I’m not writing a blog about a supernatural, larger than life force that dictates the direction of our life. Or am I? Or is it that there something, call it fate, that at times leads us in a path we belong on?
When my mom recently retired, it felt that somewhere from someone I was getting affirmation that I made the right decision retiring too. Not because it meant that the two of us that were going to be flat broke together, which is certainly a possibility. Mostly because it meant that I am not only blessed enough to be given the opportunity to spend this time with my children but also able to spend this special time in my life with my mom too. How could the sacrifice not be worth being able to spend time with the people that matter most in my life?
When we took the chance and bought this house, we were so concerned what it would mean to be a landlord. Then we had tenants that paid the whole year up front and kept our place in better condition than we left it in. Was that a sign? I don’t expect, moving forward, it always to be that easy to be a landlord but it felt like someone somewhere was telling me that it would all be alright.
Am I naive in thinking that these decisions which seemed so hard and so risky were really guided by some supreme intervention? I guess it’s hard for me to fathom that little ‘ole me was solely (coupled with Adam’s help of course) responsible for the direction to which our family has gone in. And worse yet, I hate to think that I made the wrong decision that will ultimately result in our demise down the road. So perhaps it’s my way of having faith in something more.
At the end of the day, regardless of what may or may not be directing our choices, we are the ones who have to deal with the repercussions. I’d like to think that these are all signs we are on the right path, but it’s going to be my faith in my convictions which led us down this road that is going to keep us steady. It’s going to be my commitment to the values behind these choices that prove if these were good decisions. And it’s going to be me that has to bear the brunt of any penalties I face for having gone down this road. But there’s still something inside me that hopes someone somewhere is also looking out for my family and me.