Siblings

The absolute unthinkable has happened! It may have been going on for awhile, or just gradually it has been happening more and more. But I just noticed the other day. In some ways it happened just in the nick of time!

My kids have officially started to independently play with each other. I’m not talking about the parallel play side by side that has been going on for some time. I’m not talking about Gabby having a toy that Drew wants, him tearing it out of her hands, and then playing with it himself. I’m talking about legitimately playing together.

As the days pass and I get larger and larger, I’m having more of a daily reminder that in the not too distant future there will be another child in this family. And as my uncertainty and worry continues, seeing my children play with each other makes me think that I may not be ruining their lives by giving them another sibling.

Don’t get me wrong, there are some downsides to this new style of engagement in our house. For one, there seems to be a chaotic, rough nature to a lot of their actions. Almost before my brain can process that someone is going to end up hurt by what they are doing, someone ends up crying. Second of all, it seems like there are a lot more disputes about who is playing with which toy and so-and-so is not properly sharing.

I recently realized that there is approach I very infrequently take, but is working for me. It’s the art of the deaf ear. It’s a distant cousin to neglect. It’s the finesse of turning your back, sticking your head in the sand, etc etc. For instance, Drew screams about wanting to wear the “Belle costume” and his sister is not taking it off. Whatever I’m doing becomes so very engrossing that I never even once heard his twenty screams about the stinking costume that is for the two year old girl and not a four year old boy. See? It works.

I’m pretty much deciding that this new situation is for the best. Mostly because it reinforces my beliefs that giving your children siblings is ultimately the best thing for them. It allows for Mom to get some things done around the house because they don’t need my undivided attention. And it allows them to learn how to sort through their own conflicts. The best part is that my heart absolutely melts every time I see them holding hands and saying things like “c’mon Drew Drew/Gabby,” even if it is followed up by a massive meltdown by one of the two maniacs 🙂