Money and family tend to be the biggest challenges with marriages, especially new marriages. Joining finances and learning how the other person manages their finances can be a huge hurtle in a new marriage. Different people place different priorities for their resources. And despite open communication and forecasting the future, there can still be some challenges in getting into the swing of working together financially.
I was very blessed growing up and never really wanted for anything. Let me rephrase that, I wanted for everything (and still do) and my wants were endless. However, I got new clothes every season, I shopped at nice stores, I never even had to clean my own room. I was coddled into thinking that certain things were necessities that in actuality were luxuries.
I don’t mean for a second to blame my parents because I think there was a strong effort to teach me the value of money, but I somehow decided to forgo that lesson for an episode of Dawson’s Creek or something. My mom definitely had plenty of struggles that should have enlightened me on the challenges of finances, but I decided to ignore those things while chatting on my own private phone line.
When Adam and I first got married and bought a house, our funds were a little low. At one point we got into a discussion about my “need” to go get my eyebrows waxed. He nicely explained to me that there was no money in our account for that. I very strongly mentioned to him that my eyebrows weren’t going to wax themselves. He patiently reassured me that although he also wanted me to get my eyebrows waxed, when there is no money left in our account that means we are out of luck and that included my eyebrows.
Fortunately, I have done some major maturing since that eye-opening day. For one, we have been lucky enough to not be in such a difficult financial spot. I have also learned how to prioritize and have also realized how spoiled I am. Don’t misunderstand me, my eyebrows have now spent years being waxed by my regular cosmetologist but I have learned more about the value of the dollar.
All that being said, I have made a big step to put money and things in perspective by quitting my very successful and very lucrative pharmaceutical sales job. And in doing that, there has been some re-prioritizing that has taken place. And recently I have taken the tweezer to my eyebrows.
And although I miss the luxuries I have given up for the opportunity to stay home with my rugrats, I am understanding that I have chosen a different life for my family. I have chosen a life where I get to be a very involved part of my children’s lives at the cost of my eyebrow waxing and sometimes even more. And yes it pains me at times, but it crushed me to miss so much. So beware it’s possible I may whine in the future because as I mentioned before I have endless wants. None quite compare to the desire I have to be a part of my kids’ everyday events. Now I must go and tweeze…