As a working mom I felt the prejudice of stay at home moms that seemed to judge whether I was making the right choice for my family by working. I forgot that there would be a reverse bias when I crossed over.
I always prided myself on being a business woman with confidence and intellect. I took pride in the career I had developed. And although I have been reluctant to walk away from my job, I thought I would wear my stay at home mom career proudly in most circumstances.
Over the weekend, a working mom asked me what I did for a living. When I explained that I stayed home with my kids (decided to take my new job title out for a spin even though it’s only been my job for a week), she mentioned how she would be “bored” if she stayed home. Gulp.
I have many adjectives to describe my first week at home and bored never even slightly came up on the radar. Fun, intense, overwhelming, busy, challenging…all very good adjectives to describe my experience thus far as a stay at home mom. I have definitely not been bored.
I understand where she was coming from because I rationalized for a long time that I was not the “type” to stay at home. I realize now that that was a coping mechanism to accept what I thought was my fate. That being said, I couldn’t help but feel like my intellect was challenged by her statement.
I suspect as time goes by and I am not in the working world, my experience as a business person will become less valuable. I suspect as time goes by and I’m no longer a career person, I won’t be able to identify with people that are building their careers as well. But when she said that all I could do was look her in the eye and say what a delightful challenge each day has been in ways work could never compare.
I'm a mother, wife, daughter, and friend. Until recently I was also an employee. Now that I'm a full time mom, I've decided to make my thoughts, concerns and feelings public.
I have felt the exact same way and experienced the same reactions many times. I laugh because I am hardly bored! (Sometimes I wish I had time to be bored!) As a matter of fact, I think I am busier now that I ever was when I was working. This really is a 24-7 job and this little manager is WAY more demanding than any other manager I have ever had. It’s funny, I’ve won numerous sales awards and accomplished a lot in my career, but this by far is the most rewarding.
I’m glad to hear I’m not alone in my sentiments! How do I keep the respect of working moms while being a stay at home mom? Is it even possible? I guess there’s no easy way to be a mom!
Hey Heli! I love your website!!! Very interesting topic. I think all moms have an opinion on this topic. I remember when I had to go back to work after Isla was born EVERYONE shared their opinion on my part-time status. At the end of the day, all that matters is what’s best for you and your family. Can’t wait to read more. : )
I knew you’d be able to relate, Jadie. Fortunately for you, part time is really the ideal circumstance. You get some adult time to have a career but you also get to spend quality time with your little Isla!
I have done both and there is nothing more rewarding than seeing the fruits of your labor; a child who has a happy, productive and responsible life.