I ran into a fellow mom the other day, the kind of mom that does everything right. She nursed her kid until he was 14 months, she pureed organic baby food, she didn’t allow exposure to television, etc. There’s something about that mom that makes me feel so insecure. It caused me to dive deeper and try to understand why I doubt myself as a parent. Bringing a child into the world gives you a feeling that you want to make the world a better place. Bringing a child into the world makes you feel that you want to give that little person every advantage you can. What happens when the number one thing holding that child back from greatness is you? I couldn’t help but feel I messed Drew up for only nursing for three months, never attempting to puree organic baby food and succumbing to Elmo. Why didn’t this lady put the red puppet on the television to get her child to sit still for twenty minutes? Did she have more patience or dedication to her child’s well being than I? At the end of the long workday, did she stay up thirty minutes extra to puree her child healthy food while I selfishly tucked myself in? I have come to the point where I understand that healthy children need to have healthy parents that do things for themselves but where should that line be drawn? It seems wherever I draw the line; I seem to always be regretful for the things I opted out. Am I selling Drew short for choosing myself at times? This human being came into the world not asking to be brought in, is it ever all right for me to choose me over him? Clearly there are parents that constantly make poor choices in their own favor. When they made those choices, did they know they were compromising their children’s well being? Or did they rationalize it like I do my choices? I wonder if anyone has ever done a study of the people that end up on skid row. Are those the children of parents that didn’t nurse their kids until they were at least 12 months? I can’t help but think that every parent sets out to do right by their children, how is it that some children go wrong? And the ones that do right, do they do that despite their parents or because of their parents? Is the recipe to a successful child what the American Academy of Pediatrics tells me, what my insecurities tell me or what I actually do? I may never be that mom, for all I know maybe she never kisses her kid because she’s too busy doing everything else right. All I know is that I’m this mom. And this mom loves her kid more than anything and wants the best life for him. That’s gotta count for something…
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I'm a mother, wife, daughter, and friend. Until recently I was also an employee. Now that I'm a full time mom, I've decided to make my thoughts, concerns and feelings public.
I am neurotic, thoughtful, emotional and sometimes even crazy. Mostly, I have a lot to say and would like to share it. -
Here's the thing… You deserve HELI time. You having a long, hard day at work is something that you are doing for Drew. So while you want to do everything you can for HIM, if you can't give yourself some "me" time than you could end up being a parent who resents your child, ya know what I mean? I think that you are a wonderful mom and that the Drew Man is going to grow into a wonderful man! Love you! 🙂