As a parent, we work so hard to build the self-esteems of our children. Self-esteem is ultimately what will prepare them for life’s hardships. If they grow up feeling confident of whom they are, they will be able to handle when life disappoints. Also, self-esteem helps to fuel their growth as a person. Someone who is self-confident is far more likely to get the job they aspire for, the guy/girl they are attracted to or make them a magnet for friends. What I have found from years of interacting with people who have low self-esteem, the lack of confidence misguides them to make poor choices. So as we work so hard to develop our children’s self-esteem, how can we protect them from life beating it down? As they grow up and flourish on their own and are no longer under their mother’s wing, different things happen to them that constantly challenge the groundwork their parents laid. How do they keep the fundamentals of whom they are when they are constantly challenged? This past week my manager, who I adore, was laid off. This is a man who is dedicated to his job 365 days a year, morning, noon and night. This man has defined whom he was for years based on his career. Sure he has other things going for him, but his career has been his focus and driving force for many years. I always thought that “company men” like him were rewarded for their behaviors, not brushed aside without any recognition. This has left me feeling very disenfranchised. What is the point? What is the point of dancing the dance, walking the walk, doing everything corporate wants of you just to be pushed aside without even a second glance? If someone like my manager is not safe, then really nobody is safe from corporate “clean up.” Where does that leave me – someone who is far less dedicated than my manager? I have missed a million days due to Drew being sick or me catching what he had. I have to stop at a variety of places during the day to pick up one last thing Drew needed. I eagerly take all my vacation days for miscellaneous trips to the zoo in the summer, play dates with friends in the fall or trips to visit family in the winter. We can’t get my manager to take a vacation day because he’s too wrapped up in work!! How do you tell that man who has defined himself for so long as his job to not let this effect the self-esteem that his parents worked so hard to develop? And how as a parent do you watch this happen to your child? Right now I’m developing Drew’s self-esteem through a variety of different ways, but what happens when the day comes that his self-esteem is challenged? How do you sit back and watch them struggle with something outside your control? I suppose all you can do is hope that they handle life’s attempts to challenge their self-esteem with as much grace and elegance as my manager has handled this…
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I'm a mother, wife, daughter, and friend. Until recently I was also an employee. Now that I'm a full time mom, I've decided to make my thoughts, concerns and feelings public.
I am neurotic, thoughtful, emotional and sometimes even crazy. Mostly, I have a lot to say and would like to share it. -
I'm so sorry to hear about your manager! It is so tough when people you know get laid off. Are you going to keep in touch with him? Hopefully some good will come from him finding a new job and utilizing his skills in another industry or for another company. I hope his self-esteem won't be compromised. I bet he will find the good in the situation eventually.