It’s possible that I’ve never been busier in my life. I really have no idea if I’m coming or going most days. Between the chaos that is naturally my kids’ lives coupled with my new career, my head is constantly “spinning” and I feel like I’m neglecting something…all the time.
In April, I started studying to become an indoor cycling instructor at a boutique gym. Shortly after, I also started training at my personal large gym. Both providing totally different experiences that have been special in their own right. I’m so grateful that people believed enough in me to encourage me down this path.
The thing is that my life was pretty full before. Keeping my household running, my children nourished and in touch with all the people important to me is a full time job in and of itself. Plus, this whole blogging “hobby” has turned into more which I can’t find nearly enough time to tend to. The problem was that despite all of that, I was unfulfilled.
When I had a career, I was measured against my peers, given a track to follow for success and routinely evaluated. I’ve had a hard time finding anything that satisfied the feelings I got from my job since I’ve been a full time mommy. I wouldn’t trade this experience for the world though.
There’s something that has happened to me since I have embarked on this new chapter. I have found underneath my workout clothes, underneath my flesh – a cape. A superhero cape no less! That cape only seems to come out when I’m on that instructor bike in front of the class. I become a person who can do anything or be anyone. I always knew I’d be able to lift a car if my children were stuck under it (G-d forbid) but now I realize I have that same strength where I’M concerned too. Me? I push harder, faster than I ever knew I could. I’m seeing myself become a different person before my eyes. I’m evolving in a way that has absolutely nothing to do with my kids or being a mom. And it feels great!
My stress level is through the roof because I’m too Type A to do anything lightly. I’m all in. But I really wouldn’t want it any other way. I’m proud of what I’m doing. I’m happy showing my children what it’s like to feel motivated and work hard for something you love. And maybe one of these days the confidence I’m getting on the bike will trickle over to life and you’ll see me walking around town with my cape on. Then again, maybe I’ll just keep it tucked away and only those brave people that come ride with me will see it 🙂
I'm a mother, wife, daughter, and friend. Until recently I was also an employee. Now that I'm a full time mom, I've decided to make my thoughts, concerns and feelings public.
