I like to think of January 1st as a midyear review. As everyone else is setting goals for the upcoming year, I am reassessing the goals I made for the year of 5776. When Rosh Hashana rolled around in September, I made my real resolutions for the year. January 1st is just giving me the opportunity to see how I am panning out with those goals.
According to a 2009 study at University of College London, it takes 66 days to form a habit. Yet a short 103 days ago I pledged to be a more positive mother. So if I would have kept to that goal (or resolution), it would be a habit by now. I, much like most, didn’t make it even three months with that resolution.
What is an positive mother? If I were walking around town expecting my children to be saints, I wouldn’t be positive. I would be downright naive and maybe a tad stupid. I would, however, be positive if I looked at a dining experience with my children and focused on the first 15 minutes of quiet drawing instead of the last half an hour of fighting and yelling. I tend to make excuses for why I am unable to focus on the first 15. If my children weren’t so frustrating during those last thirty, I’d be able to enjoy those first 15 more. Except the only person I am hurting by walking around with that attitude or allowing this level of negativity, is myself. And maybe those three incredible (yet insanely frustrating) children.
I pride myself on being a positive person by nature. Yes it may be cold, but at least the sun is out. When it comes to managing my children, I not only focus on the negative exchanges but I let them fester in me like a virus. I take the negativity from the bad times and allow it to create future bad times. In turn creating a sad environment for us all to be around.
At the face of this new calendar year, I’m going to walk into my boss’ office. I’m going to look myself in the mirror and demand a midyear review… Looking at the above intentions for the year of 5776, I’m assigning a Below Expectations for implementing this year’s resolution. Moving forward as the calendar creeps into 2016, I’m going to require an attitude shift. As a mom to three young crazy people, I am going to expect more from myself. Perhaps I was negligent in setting concrete guidelines to accomplish this goal. I expect to find at least one individual success with each of my children per day. Before residing for the day, I expect to take a moment to resonate in the fortune I have (and not monetarily). I intend to remind my children each day of something I am proud of, impressed with or happy from…
I can’t help but think that shifting my frame of thought to these specific goals will set me up for 66 days of success which will lead to a new habit and a happier life for myself and my family. So please renew my contract for another year.