I’m ruining my kids. There, I said it. For a million reasons, I am ruining my kids. The one I’m choosing to focus on right now is that I have resigned from teaching them to be self-sufficient. We are going backwards to the days of infancy and I’m doing everything for them. Why would anyone want to do everything for their kids?!?!
I used to layout their lunches, water bottles and iPads in the morning. I would spend all morning nudging them to pack their book bags. I no longer nudge about their inability to pack their bags. Rather, I pack their bags for them. Is it because I love packing bags and just can’t get enough of it? No. Is it because I’m a control freak and want to do it my way? Perhaps, but more no. It’s because I end up having a better morning if I do it for them.
Part of their responsibilities were making their beds. If they didn’t, they would suffer a consequence. Now I just make their beds. Definitely the same story when it comes to cleaning up their rooms, cleaning up their toys, etc. I no longer have the strength to discipline for these life skills.
To properly parent children, you must teach them skills to be self-sufficient. Everyone is working towards creating human beings who are independent and capable. My children, on the other hand, will be amazing X-box players, masters of TV watching and overall lazy slobs. And as much as I have a distaste for the style in which I’m raising them, I just can’t do it anymore.
I’m tired of spending my days yelling, criticizing and punishing. It’s easier for me to pick up their clothes from the floor then spend a half an hour negotiating it. There are certainly other things that I have to yell, criticize and punish like homework, fighting with siblings, and basic overall respect. And frankly I’m not doing so well in getting a handle on that. So why should I have to waste a second of time battling on the other stuff?
Is this what people mean when they say don’t sweat the small stuff? Pick your battles? Or am I just being downright lazy and therefore raising fellow lazy people…slobby, lazy people at that!? Am I really messing my kids up for not properly teaching them the skill of packing their backpacks? Or perhaps should I just focus on the damage I’m doing to them emotionally by all the other things I do wrong in a given day?