Time

Where did the time go??? People say it all the time. They look at a 8-1/2 month pregnant woman and explain that they just found out they were pregnant…where did the five months go?!? Easy for them to say, they haven’t been living the agony of having a baby grow inside them. Or people looking at a 13 year old saying that they were just five a second ago. Hard to believe when that 13 year old feels like they will never grow up and being five was absolutely impossible to remember. I, however, have been sitting front row. Sleeves rolled up, beads of sweat on my forehead from overwork and stress, hands constantly dirty. I’ve even felt at times that I’m hanging on by the skin of my nails. Yet somewhere sandwiched between stress, anxiety and growing pains, my babies have started growing up.

The third child was going to be different. Sure, I was pretty much unable to even pick him up out of his car seat for the first year of life. Sure, his lunch sometimes gets overlooked from falling asleep in the car seat and picking up the big kids. All minor details. I was going to hold onto him tighter. I was going to marinate in each stage longer. This is my last go around. I was going to give it all I got!

Today we went for his “meet and greet” at school. Yes, he is going to school on Thursday! On one hand, I’m devastated. My little buddy is going to leave my hip temporarily empty for 2.5 hours, twice a week. On the other hand, I’m happy that he is going to get this opportunity that he seems so eager to have and I’m ecstatic to have the chance to fly solo even for a little bit.

How did this happen though? When did he get old enough to have his own life separate from me? I was trying to pay more attention this time around. At parent orientation, they talked about all the things involved in their day…how does he get to have a day that I’m not a part of?

Each phase brings good and bad. I’m so excited for this next chapter but I’d be lying if I didn’t say I’m sad. I’m just glad that I get to look at that cute monkey backpack as he walks away because he looks damn cute in it!