The Twilight Zone

March 7, 2014

I was recently contacted that my middle school (grades 3-5) is celebrating it’s 25th anniversary, my class being the first. How did I get to be THIS old?


Somehow when I was “trapped” in my adolescence, I thought that I was going to be stuck on the cusp of my world starting forever. And somewhere in those 25 years my world started and so much has happened. Where was I during it all?

I’ve started thinking back to my memories of that school. People have joined a Facebook group. Names that I haven’t thought about in close to 25 years have resurfaced. I suddenly feel like the last 25 years are a dream. Did I really finish high school? Did I really go away to college? Am I really a mom of three children? Where was I when all this went down?

Something about this has stirred a feeling of being nine all over again. In your mind when you are nine years old, you think you have your whole world of choices ahead of you. And in some ways that’s right, you do. But in some ways life just leads you down different paths that land you where you end up. Sure, you choose a college and college narrows your direction. Then you settle on a city to live in post college. The choices I was making just flowed together and now I’m here. I’m not really sure which choice or series of choices landed me here but I’m here.

It’s not that I don’t want to be here, actually I think “here” is the only place I’ve ever wanted to be. I’m just confused at how 25 years went by and I’m here. I’m confused how these people who used to be my childhood friends and acquaintances ended up all grown up. Then I look in the mirror and see that I am also all grown up. After all, I have kids who are not too far off of where I was just a mere 25 years ago.

I feel like I fell asleep and ended up in a Johnny Depp movie – we’re going through the tunnel in Willy Wonka and I’ve ended up on the opposite side where people are eating grass and calling it chocolate. The only difference is that I’ve been awake the whole time, I experienced each life change with eyes wide open and I ended up on the other side married with three kids. Somebody pinch me.

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