Such A Girl

I’m such a girl. I need constant appreciation and validation. I’m needy. These are all things I have fought. I wanted to believe that I was “better” than this but I was wrong. Maybe it’s the estrogen, my upbringing, etc. Whatever it is, it makes it hard for men (mainly my husband) who aren’t built that way. I guess it’s one of those things that will always make it hard for men and women to understand each other.

Today my husband sent me flowers. At first my reaction was that it was his way of trading me for the four weeks I have been a single parent. And then I saw the flowers. I melted in a way that a needy girl would. Not me!!! Gasp. Seeing this gorgeous bouquet sent a biological response through my system and melted my heart in a way I needed. In a way flower companies depend on. How did I become THAT girl?!?

I think I’ve always been that girl but I’ve really been tested with this new life we have. I’m constantly fighting the urge to be angry with Adam for being away so much and leaving me alone with these maniacs. What am I mad at? Adam working so hard to provide for us? Is he choosing to be away from us? What is there to possibly be angry about?!?

Seeing these gorgeous flowers reminded me in a way that words just can’t. It reminded me how lucky I am. I’m lucky for the life I have. I’m lucky for the opportunity I have to stay home with my kids even if it means getting my manicured fingers WAY more dirty than I would like. And I’m so lucky that I have my husband. I’m lucky that despite the fact that he’s working like a dog, he took time to send me some much needed love in a way words just weren’t cutting it. What can I say, I’m a needy girl? After all, I grew up believing in happily ever after.