I want to be wanted

December 2, 2013

Lately it’s been incredibly obvious that my baby doesn’t prefer me. Sure, he’ll take me. He most absolutely doesn’t want to be put down from the hours of 4-6 and he’ll tolerate my grasp. But when it comes to wanting someone, he’ll take just about anyone over me!!!

This kid is the first one I’ve pretty much been the majority caretaker of. The other two were in daycare early on. Adam contributed with night time awakenings with the others. This one, however, it has been all me.

It has been all me cleaning up every poop explosion. It has been all me soaked in vomit. It has been all me up at every hour of the night walking, rocking and just about anything to get the stinker to sleep. It has been all me at the cost of my relationship with Gabby, who has suffered the biggest blow losing her baby spot. It has been all me at the cost of moments with Drew, like missing out on all the fun rides at Wisconsin Dells because I was seven months pregnant. It has been all me!!!!!!!

This baby will practically jump out of my arms at the prospect of anyone with a heart beat approaching. He screams at the mere suggestion of me taking him from any of his favorite handlers. Yet anytime I’m overwhelmed, harassed and alone…he only wants me to tote him around!!

All I’m asking for is a little yearning for his mommy when he bumps his head. A little hesitation when taken from mom’s arms wouldn’t hurt either. Is that really too much to ask for?!?!


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