The big girl bed is ordered. Underpants have been purchased. Camp and preschool are on the horizon. So when does my baby girl become my big girl?
I don’t want to rush it because I have loved (almost) every minute of having her. In some ways, I appreciated her more than Drew. With Drew, I went through so many growing pains. I had to get used to my life being so drastically changed by having a baby. I struggled so much with the sleep deprivation, inability to put him down EVER, and being his only food supply since he has been an eater from day one!
I don’t mean to say that I didn’t enjoy Drew as a baby. He was my first. Everything he did was new and exciting to me. We were able to be completely consumed with him at every moment, which I think we are still paying the price for (his wife may thank me some day for that one). I have adored him, and continue to adore him, in his own special way.
With Gabby, I understood what was so special about being a mom. I took the sleep deprivation as a time she and I could be alone. I marinated in holding her because I knew how fleeting it really was. I enjoyed nursing her because it was all about her. And since all that, I have been able to experience her in a way that I was unable to with Drew because I worked.
Since I have a new baby coming though, I’m hoping for some of the transitions to big girl living to happen before the hurricane of change comes. I want Gabby to stay my baby, but I don’t want her to have a hard time when the baby takes slumber in her crib. I want Gabby to still need me, but I don’t think I’d mind giving up her needing me to change her diaper. I want Gabby to feel like I’m always there for her, but I want her to successfully go off to camp and school.
I suppose this is an issue that parents always go through. We want our children to thrive as independent beings but we still want them to need us. I’m not willing to send her off just because there’s a replacement coming but I want her to advance appropriately despite the addition. I want her to become the big girl she’s supposed to become while always being mommy’s baby. Is that too much to ask?