Milestones

So much of those early weeks, months, years of your children’s lives are about milestones. First time they rolled over, first time they crawled, first time they walked, etc. And when parents get together it’s easy to get caught up in what your child has or has not done. Every parent knows of some instance they have been in where some other parent was bragging about the success of their child at reaching a milestone. And although I’m sure we can all identify with the feeling of wanting to be first or ahead of the gang, what has always wrecked me with worry is the fact that my kid wouldn’t get there.

So many times I have thought if I could receive a guarantee (perhaps an extra warranty) that my kids would grow up to be successful, capable, healthy and safe adults, I could let go of so much of my angst. I’m not sure there’s an extended warranty in the world that would guarantee that for me. There are moments though, maybe just seconds, but times that I think we are on the right path and feel a sense of ease that I hadn’t before.

Today I went to Drew’s pre-k conferences. The irony of this meeting is that I’m in the middle of assessing where to send Gabby next year. I say irony because it truly demonstrates to me first hand what the curriculum paired with the maturity of the child could bring a student. Drew received a glowing review. In some ways, it’s shocking to see how very different his behavior can be at home and at school. In other ways, it solidifies what I have always really felt in my heart about him.

Some of you have read countless blogs about my frustration with his behavior, problems at school and concerns about his future. After hearing a few very good examples of how he has progressed (even from the beginning of this school year to now), I feel so confident (at this particular moment of course) that so many of his issues were age and maturity. I have always tried to leave an underlying argument of what a great kid he is, but sometimes I may have overshadowed that with my frustrations with the particular incidents or challenges I was up against.

Instead of being a class disruption, he is an enthusiastic, positive contribution to the class. Instead of having too strong a competitive nature to wait his turn, he is excited for the opportunity to participate when he can. He is evolving to be appropriate and exercise restraint and self regulation in an age appropriate way.

He may not be reading or writing at 3 but he’s doing what he should be doing for where he is at and I couldn’t be happier. And the truth of the matter is that he’s never going to be able to put that he rolled over at 10 weeks old on his resume. So as long as he gets there, that’s all that matters to me. At least until I find something else to worry about…