Drew recently had a play date with a friend who chronically appears to have a stronger affection for Gabby than Drew. Of course as this friend shows his fondness for Gabby, Drew gets possessive and WAY more in love with his sister than normal. He also seems to get upset that his friend doesn’t feel that way for him.
At times I have thought that down the road it will be fun for Drew and Gabby to be so close in age. They will be going to the same school until sixth grade so that will allow for a lot of overlapping years. I expected that as the years went by, Gabby and her friends would be swooning over Drew’s and his more than the other way around. Although the verdict is not out yet, it seems to be the other way around right now.
That all being said, given the personality Drew has, I feel pretty confident that it will not go well if this is a common occurrence. I don’t foresee Drew happily sitting back and letting his friends play with his little sister. I don’t think Drew will be alright letting Gabby be the main enchilada.
I’ve recently started a new method of parenting. It’s called, you figure it out for yourself. When the tattling starts, the fights begin, I take a backseat and let them sort it out for themselves. And as much as it may sound like the lazy man’s way of handling things, it takes more willpower on my side than it would to manage the situation.
So as the whining starts, “she’s my sista,” and the crying begins, “don’t you like me more,” I try very hard to let it be. They are kids who are learning how to manage circumstances that they will eventually let trickle over to real life, important things. It doesn’t make it any easier on me.
All I know is that as the years go by, these issues are going to get more and more complicated. Most of the answers are probably not going to come in the form of a timeout, a few tears or a bandaid. So I better help them develop their problem solving skills now. Although I hope that they will always include me in what’s going on in their lives and the problems they’re up against, I also hope that they won’t expect me to come up with all the answers. Frankly because I don’t have a clue…I’m still trying to figure them out myself!