I had been reluctant to tell Drew the big news. I expected it to be hard on him and potentially effect some of his behavior so I thought we could put it off. Also, I have been super paranoid about the well being of this baby and didn’t want to say anything until we were out of the woods (or at least more out of the woods).
Since I told the whole world, I figured I’d probably have to clue him in sooner rather than later. Then the painful question hit before I was necessarily prepared to address it. “Mommy, why is your tummy so fat?” Excuse me???????? I’m almost fourteen weeks pregnant, I’ve gained a couple pounds and am starting to show in that is she or isn’t she sorta way. I guess that’s one of the “benefits” of carrying your third child, body knows what its doing. But, c’mon!!!! I was not ready for that!
Fortunately Adam was nearby so I gave him the lost look…what now? So we came clean. At first he was giggling and saying that we were kidding. We kept explaining that we were not kidding, he was in fact going to have another brother or sister. Then he immediately, without missing a beat, told us that he wants a brother. I’m afraid that he would like this child to come out as an older brother, rather than a measly baby.
And within seconds, almost like a harsh storm that goes full circle from calm to crazy to calm, he started getting really sad. He kept saying that he wanted to be a baby in my tummy. His voice shaking telling me that he doesn’t want to be a big boy anymore. I kept reminding him of all the benefits he experiences by being a big boy – t-ball, movie nights, and all his favorite foods. I may have sold him on the movie night with popcorn bit but he was still shaky over it.
Just as the storm was passing, he zoned out for a solid five seconds. I kept rubbing his back and kissing him like that could undo any long-term damage I am inflicting on this poor little boy. And then out of nowhere he said, “what are we going to name our baby?!?” I love that boy.
Later that night we went for a walk and he was riding next to Gabby in the stroller. I overheard them talking and Drew was telling her that mommy has a baby in her belly. He asked Gabby what we are going to name our baby. Of course Gabby continued to babble in that “I have no idea what’s going on” way but I was so proud of him nonetheless.
We are by no means out of the woods but our first attempt at introducing the concept of a growing family was a success. I’m very proud of Drew for how he handled it and I am really hopeful that this will be one of the many examples of how Drew and Gabby can learn to lean on each other.