Queen for the Day!

It’s been a whirlwind of birthdays in this house, starting with Adam’s in May and ending with Gabby’s in June. And although they have been tons of fun, I’m happy that the next birthday in our family is in December. My eagerness for the birthday season to be over has nothing to do with yesterday because it was so great!

The day did not start off on the right foot. By 9am, Drew had had two time-outs, tons of tears and refused to wish his sister happy birthday. It was almost as if Gabby understood that it was hard for him and each time we told her happy birthday, she quietly said “Drew, Drew.” It was heart breaking because we had all worked, Gabby included, so hard to make Drew feel so excited the entire day of his birthday. Didn’t Gabby deserve the same treatment?

We went to the beach and had a great time, Drew mostly ignoring that it was Gabby’s birthday. Sometime during the day, Drew had a phone conversation with my mom explaining all the fun that they would be having that evening and that it was really important that Drew make Gabby’s birthday special until then. Maybe that clued him in, maybe somewhere inside that confused four year old brain he thought he wouldn’t get the fun time with the grandparents unless he shifted his way of thinking, or maybe he felt less threatened by Gabby being special because he had a special agenda of his own. Whatever it was, he started wishing Gabby a happy birthday and celebrating with us.

On our way over to my parents to drop Drew off, Gabby must have realized that she was not going to be with her grandparents. She got so sad, wanted her brother and acted like we were punishing her by not letting her go with. I felt so bad that I had made the wrong decision splitting them up. When we left Drew, she cried so hard 🙁

Then we got to Rainforest Cafe. All her concerns went out the door. She squealed with delight looking at all the different animals. I felt like parents that only have one child and are completely wrapped up in that one kid. We couldn’t get enough of her. I thought about how every experience we have with the two of them, we always look to Drew first. He is the one who articulates what he thinks. He is the one to really absorb what activity we are participating in. And when we were so busy and focused on Drew, I didn’t realize that Gabby became a person who is old enough to do the same. She is always the second thought. Although that sounds horrible, I think she’s gotten used to that being the family dynamic that she doesn’t even feel slighted by it. It was so refreshing to be able to just take in everything with her, look at it strictly through her eyes, and enjoy an outing with only Gabby.

It allowed for us to have a completely “Gabby-friendly” meal – there was no dessert she couldn’t have, no side dish that wasn’t appropriate. She was in her glory. She even got sung “Happy Birthday” to her alone (which even her party she wasn’t sung to alone). She got to indulge in a delicious banana for dessert, that might as well been a hot fudge sundae the way she shoved it in her mouth. The day ended with a trip to Build-A-Bear. Where there was some major confusion over who the accessories were really for. The girl likes her accessories!

I think both my kids were better off for the birthday separation. When we came home, Drew was bubbling over with stories of his excursions with his grandparents. And Gabby was able to blossom into an individual person with thoughts of her own, undivided parental attention and an evening designed specifically for her alone. It was a great experience, one that I hope to do again.