What a Life!

April 5, 2012

Today was a special day. Not special in the unique sorta way but special in the happiness I experienced. The funny part is that it was an absolutely ordinary day but that was the amazing part about it.

Someone asked me recently if I miss my job. I loved my job. I’m not sure I could have liked a job more. I liked what I was doing, I liked the people I worked with, I liked who I worked for, I worked close to home. It was ideal. But I have not missed my job for a minute. I almost wish I could go back in time and tell me that this would be the outcome when I was so unsure about my decision.

Sitting in Target today, I saw someone who looked like the old me. She was all dressed up in a shnazzy outfit, getting a few Target essentials during her lunch break and smiled over at me with Gabby. I’m so absolutely thrilled to be able to spend every day with Gabby. I’m so ecstatic that I can play such a vital role in Drew’s education. I’m so happy that this is my life.

I feel like every stay at home mom should work for awhile. It makes you appreciate all the struggles of being a stay at home mom in a much different way. I spent so much time longing for the opportunity to be with my kids, and now I get to do it. However, I also spent a great deal of time being deathly afraid of being with my kids. I couldn’t wrap my head around taking care of them 24/7. I doubted I had the patience to handle it, I was unsure my kids would benefit from it and I was scared that I would go crazy through it all.

And although I spend a ton of time with them, I also have found ways to make it work for me. Joining the gym and going to classes with the kids has given me an outlet that I need to keep some semblance of sanity. That might not be for everyone but that has allowed for me to be a better, stronger mom.

Then there’s the growth that my kids have experienced since I have been home with them. When I picked Drew up from school today, his teacher came up to tell me how Drew is doing so much better. She said she’s constantly surprised at his growth and that his behavior has completely changed. I think a lot of that had to do with maturity and consistency but I also attribute it to the engagements we have had together day in and day out.

As frustrating as it can be making different dishes for Gabby and slaving over her difficult diet, she’s growing and thriving. When I quit my job, Gabby had a strong oral aversion. I worked on exercises and took her to therapy until she overcame it. Now I’m continuously cooking and baking to accommodate her, which I may have done anyway but it is far easier with my current schedule.

So today I allowed, or remembered, to bask in the thrill I have for being home with them. There have definitely been things that I had to give up in order to do this but I would never trade it for anything. I will never regret having this opportunity to be with them and be this kind of mom. Special thanks to Adam for making it possible for our family 🙂

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