I have some friends that are getting married out of state in a few months. When I heard about the location, I was thrilled at the opportunity to see that part of the country. I didn’t think for a second that anything would get in the way of me being a part of this big event for my special friends.
Then I started planning and realized that I’m a stay at home mom. Duh. In the past we have gone on trips without our kids. And although a trip without them is never easy, it has always been do-able nonetheless. Now that I’m a stay at home mom, what do I do with my kids?
Yes, they have stayed with their grandparents. At times they were shuffled back in forth on the weekends, weeknights, etc. Reinforcements have been sent in for other family members to help with the exhausting weekend days. But Monday through Friday they had long days at school to break up the exhaustion of watching them. My largest concern had been how our parents would handle drop off and pick up.
And although Drew does go to school Monday, Wednesday and Friday, he goes for half days. There’s sports class Tuesday and Swim Thursday. Gabby has music on Friday. So in order for me to leave, will our parents have to become the chauffeur that I am? We would have to ask our parents to tend to our children and all their many needs 24/7 in order for us to get away.
All of a sudden I realize that my love for my friends, my wants to get away, the joy of a trip may need to reassessed. It’s not as easy as it once was. And although I’m not writing off the trip yet, it reminds me how complicated my life really has become.
When Adam and I were younger, traveling was a very important part of our lives. By the time I was 5 I had been on 4 different continents. As I grew older, my desire to travel had not changed. I studied abroad, and Adam joined me on several of my travels. Post getting married we went on a few international trips. Even when we talked about having children, we felt confident that traveling was such a value for us that it would not change with our little people in tow. We were sorely misguided. For goodness sake I can’t handle taking them to a restaurant, let alone on a long plane ride!
Once our children are actually old enough to be travel companions, I’m not sure how we’ll ever afford trips like the ones we’ve dreamt of. Suddenly camps, bar/bat mitzvahs and braces take the place of glamorous travel plans. Those things may not be glamorous but I wouldn’t change it. I’m a mom…period. My life will have to adjust accordingly. Without children I would have fought to defy that it would happen to me, that I would have to give up certain things I hold in such high regard. But now that I have these children that are more to me than just a concept, I’m fine with that.