Secrets

I was recently sucked into an article about 7 Secrets of Successful Parenting. As if it were as easy as seven tips. I felt that my non-stop frustration with never understanding the right way to handle my children meant that I must read this article top to bottom. And before I knew it, I was completely sucked into the article like it was the Bible.

I wanted to argue it, explain that it isn’t as easy as one would think these steps sound. But then piece by piece it made sense. The first step being unconditional love, and that I totally get. My mom may not have done anything right (although I feel that she strongly did), my grandparents may have done nothing right with my mom (and they also did tons right) but one thing these generations mastered was a strong sense of love. The fact that my kids are told that they are loved ten thousand times a day and kissed to the point of raw cheeks tells me that I’ve got this down!

The rest I, much like the majority, struggle with. Yes, I want my children to know that they are my first priority – I quit my job to prove this. But how do you describe the time I need at the gym to escape from them in order to be a better, stronger parent? I know everyone is going to continue to tell me that even the best parents need some time to themselves. (As does the author at the end of the article) How much is the appropriate amount? Who decides that?

Having a strong team and disciplining consistently are crucial but you can’t always dictate that the team will align with each other and discipline the same. Drew is doing so much better with the system I have in place for him. He is awarded with stickers for certain activities like safe body, safe words and good listening. At times it makes the control freak in me want to butt in when even Adam is disciplining him to keep it all in sync, especially since he’s so on track right now. I love the opportunity to not be the bad guy and try to take a step back. Now how do you encourage the same discipline style even when you are talking about overnights with grandparents? They are clearly not going to be as strict as I am. How do you keep your team on the same track?

Routines I totally get – I thrive in a schedule too so that works well for me. And thanks to my wonderful husband and health club membership, I get my time to recharge. But all the routine and recharge time in the world can still make for chaos. The only difference is that these “rules to live by” help with that. It outlines the best suggestions for leading a successful life parenting children. I guess the details we’ll all figure out as we go.