What’s inner peace?

January 3, 2012

Last week I celebrated the ten year anniversary of my 21st birthday. This anniversary coupled with the conclusion of 2011, really got me thinking about where I’ve been, what I’ve done and where I’m going. I’ve only been able to legally drink for ten years, vote for thirteen, drive for fifteen. Yet what I’ve accomplished, created, in those thirty one years seems so grand. Two human beings that wouldn’t be leaving their footprint (or stomp as the case may be) without me. Yikes.

Six months ago I quit my job. I spent the first half of the year a full time working mom of two. It was an extremely stressful balancing act. By day I put on my suit, strutted my stuff and did what I had to do. By night I changed diapers, rushed through dinner and ran through our night time routine.

The months to follow my departure from the work force, though extremely fun and rewarding, paralleled my work days more than I expected. By day I adorned my stay at home mom wear, scurried after toddlers and did what I had to do. By night, same story.

And maybe someone up above thought I was mastering the gig early and decided to throw me some curve balls. Or maybe the truth of the matter is all my dreams came true. But between getting in the stay at home mom groove, I was blessed enough to move into my dream house and go on a incredible vacation with my kids. It doesn’t get any better than that. And although my blogs may seem negative at times (who am I kidding, they are my opportunity to bitch and moan), I couldn’t be happier with where my years have taken me.

With all that being said…I feel like I’m barely standing. I feel like I just barely survived 2011. The fact that I’m not easy going, I’m easily overwhelmed and get anxious could possibly ruin everything good that ever happens to me. So instead it is my responsibility to channel the strong inner strength I have to not let that happen. I must work towards keeping everything in its proper perspective or I will throw out the baby with the bath water. And nobody wants that.

So as I reflect back on my years, I’m left with mostly fond feelings of my life. During high school I was overwhelmed with the angst of high school but I mostly just remember the good times. During college, I know I was constantly frustrated with school work but I celebrate the fun times. When I was getting started in my early twenties I wanted certain successes right away, but I think back to all the fun of tackling my new life. And now that I’m in this stage, I want to focus on the love and warmth from my family.

I’m hoping 2012 will be my most stable year to date. I’m ready to get some firm footing on who I am and where I’m going. I’m not sure that’s something I’ve ever really had in the years prior. 2012 a year of embracing my daily challenges, remembering all the good times and moving forward to be a person of inner peace. Amen.

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