Why must everything be so complicated as a parent?

Birthdays gone by, I was a full time working mom. All I ever wanted for my birthday was to spend family time together. Days spent at children’s museums, planning kid friendly excursions and chaotic dinners were my only birthday wishes. This year its a whole different ball game.

All I want for my birthday is adult time. As plans came underway, I was dreading the big day. I was dreading the day in a way that dragging my kids all around town, fighting with Drew to take off costumes and cleaning poopy diapers just weren’t going to cut it. And although I am doing exactly what I want to do with my life, it just made sad (more sad than the usual birthday blues) to think of spending my birthday doing what I do every day.

The ingenious plan to have a spa day and date night was presented to me. At the mere mention of an adult day, my birthday outlook drastically changed. I now celebrate the upcoming day. I’m excited in an almost unnatural, bad mother sort of way. The day being one hundred percent about me!

Then the normal guilt I have began to set in. How could I be so blissful about a day without my kids? How could I have a celebration that didn’t include them? After all my life is defined by them! How could I be such a self centered person to crave a day that is one hundred percent about me? Oy.

So tonight the birthday celebration starts. A dinner with my parents and my rowdy kids in a normal loud restaurant where I intend to gulp down my food while entertaining the needs and wants of my crazy rugrats. And I expect when the desert with the candle comes and both my kids light up at the excitement of singing “happy birthday” and helping mom blow out the candles, I may feel a slight pang of sadness that they will be missing out on the actual day celebration. Then again it’s probably the indigestion I will have from eating my food so fast and that too will pass.