Maybe today was not the day to be giving up coffee. It’s also quite possible that I’m an over-dramatic, hormonal person. Either way you look at it, today was not a good day. It was a very dark day in the land of parenting. It was so dark, getting my job back may not be sufficient. It may take running away from home for me to get over this day.
This week has been full of my eldest being sick, throwing up on me (to the point of needing a shower), and an agitation and aggression that just sorta bubbled over into everything we have done. Yesterday I drove Drew to school with him reminding me over and over again, “I don’t like you Mommy.” Needless to say I didn’t add that to “Nonsense.”
We’ve gone through major behavioral hurdles over the last three plus years of life. Most kids, I’m sure, have temper tantrums, push their limits and go through hitting type episodes. Drew has pretty much challenged it all. Last year we had to go to school and talk with the social worker because his aggression was effecting the class and we worked together to get past some of these growing pains.
Today Drew took aggression to a whole new level. I might even say that we had an episode with him “beating me up” in Costco. It was not pretty. He calls people rude, insulting names (“you big crazy lady”), he expresses mean, crude acts he would like to do to people (“I’m going to poop on your face”), and he gets physical (pushing, kicking or spitting when he doesn’t get results he wants). He has officially pushed “1, 2, 3, Magic” to the max.
I can accept that he is not fully to blame. I’m not exactly a professional, nor do I pretend to be one on tv, and I don’t always know the appropriate way to counter the circumstance. I have tried “1, 2, 3, Magic” to no avail. It only works if the repercussion is substantial enough. He’s resistant to time outs (and that was especially evident at Costco when I tried to implement a time out) and seems to find humor in my disciplining him in general.
I try ignoring certain things he says because he’s so clearly trying to get a rise, but then I’m fearful that he doesn’t understand the severity of the things he’s saying (“I’m going to push you into a car”). And his overall temperament is so wound up that I try desperately to bring it back down to a more calm level.
And now I’m just left frustrated. Either parents across the globe are lying to me or there’s something going wrong here. I read blogs, talk to other parents, read articles, communicate with friends and family and nobody seems to have the frustration that I have with Drew. Am I just taking it harder and making it seem worse (it sure as hell feels bad)? Or do we really have a bad situation? Is it a bad situation because I’m not handling it right? Or is it a bad situation because Drew is really outside the realm of a normal mischievous three year old?
All I do know is that I’m deflated in a way that I never have been before. I feel so out of control, which I don’t handle well in the first place, and sad that I can’t get my son to behave. And on top of it all, the well behaved, sweet, good girl gets neglected because she doesn’t demand as much from me. I think it may be time to call in the professionals…