From Weddings to Babies

Over the weekend I went to my future sister-in-law’s bridal shower. As we have been going through closets to reorganize and make space for our new addition, I have been finding mementos from our wedding almost 5 years ago. I saved every souvenir, every reminder, from my showers, bachelorette party and wedding because at the time it was the happiest, most special time in my life. I was so happy for my brother-in-law and future sister-in-law thinking of all that they have ahead of them at the launch of their wedding season. Looking back at that time in my life, I have very fond memories but the place in my heart that I store them has dropped down a notch. Our weddings placement in the series of importance in my life’s hierarchy of special events is lower than it once was. And as I clear out space for art projects, outdoor toys and baby goods, I find myself throwing away the mementos of our wedding that I once cherished. Does this step away from the memory of our wedding mean that I value Adam and my relationship and the road I have taken to this place in my life less? Or does it mean that our relationship has evolved to be larger than just the two of us? I know too many couples that spend the affirmative years of their relationship consumed with weddings, new babies and all the beginning stages. Then sometime around their children developing their own lives or going off to college, the couple is faced with the reality that years before they grew apart but were kept together through their children. As Adam and I become more and more involved with our child(ren) and less about the couple we once were, how do we keep the foundation that was once so solid and fertile growing simultaneously? At the end of the day when we are tired from work, balancing children, keeping up with the house and our attempts to be independent individuals, will we still have space and energy in our lives to work on strengthening our bond? As I watched my brother-in-law and future sister-in-law happily open their presents and lovingly smile at each other, I got a brief glimpse into the past where Adam and I once started. When I came back into the house from the shower and I saw my husband reading to my son, I realized that the feelings I have for him have only grown from the point of our wedding. I love him more today than I did yesterday. The difference is I not only love him for what and who he is to me, but also what and who he is to our child who is the product of our love for each other. As I throw away souvenirs from our past when it was just the two of us, it’s only to make room for our strong future. I’m making physical space for the mementos and souvenirs we will have of our life as a family with two parents that have a strong foundation starting from the past.