The glow of pregnancy…

Everyone says that pregnant women have a “glow.” I’m sure it’s partially due to the excitement of having a child, the changes that are happening within and the anticipation of what’s ahead. Another potential reason for the “glow” could be the ability to eat things you otherwise wouldn’t. As a woman that has battled the bulge for too many years, I enjoy the opportunity to indulge now that I’m pregnant. However, it’s a thin line between embracing ice cream once in awhile and shoving cookies and cakes in my mouth every second of every day. Everyone excuses a pregnant woman’s desire to eat with the fact that they are eating for two. Unfortunately eating for two only entails an extra 300 calories a day, which is equivalent to a granola bar. So adding pudding to every meal or grabbing cookies by the fistful don’t exactly fall into the doctor’s plan of “eating for two.” In my grandmother’s time, doctors specifically didn’t want mothers to gain a lot of weight and were closely monitoring the weight gain. In my mother’s time, there were no limitations set on a woman’s caloric intake. Those women probably glowed just a little more than those of my grandmother’s generation. Those were some satisfied women. Now we’ve come full circle and underweight women are definitely supposed to gain more weight but overweight women should gain less. Needless to say, my glow is dimming. As I embrace the fact that I can eat, for only the second time in my life, virtually what I actually want. Rather than the years I’ve spent eating lettuce, chicken and fat free vinaigrette dressing. I am getting a little more round with every passing day. The glow of pregnancy is starting to become the mist of sweat from being larger. I am happy to indulge in ice cream, but as the clothes get tighter and the belly is more pronounced I battle my inner demons. I have a healthy understanding that I need to get larger for my baby to be healthy and strong but how large is large enough? As the numbers on the scale go up, what weight am I gaining for this baby and what am I gaining due to my indulgence? I remember all these feelings from when I was pregnant with Drew. It’s hard to accept that you are supposed to gain weight but it’s easier to eat the stuff you never would before. It’s hard to see your body change but it’s easy to get excited about the upcoming baby. It’s hard to work off the baby weight but it’s easy to put it on. It’s just one of the many things that make being a woman, a mother, a vessel for a child not so easy. For now I’m going to have the chocolate chip cookie after dinner but I’m going to refrain from having two or three. We’ll see how that goes!