Next Chapter

Years ago I started this blog as an outlet from being a stay-at-home mom. Since I rejoined the workforce 8+ years ago as a full-time contributor, it’s been a little more challenging figuring out where this blog would be for me. Mainly how does anyone find time to JUST write in between managing a successful full-time career and being a present parent to 3 young children.

That thin line between, you have to be the best version of you for your kids which means “sometimes” prioritizing yourself and what you need. So as I run off to a mom’s night with their peers’ parents, does that count? As I jump into a workout and ignore the countless “MOM” questions, does that count? As I shut the door to my bedroom to watch my show, does that count?

Then the mom guilt starts to rear its’ ugly head. If I’m away from my kids 22.5 hours a day, is it possible to make an impact in their lives spending 1.5 hours a day with them? Is it possible to be quality versus quantity. The whole time over the last 8 years has been a balancing act between am I doing enough, am I good enough at any of this and am I doing right by my job and kids simultaneously?

Something happened this year. I now have 2 kids in high school and one in middle school. The days of “Mommy, mommy, mommmmmmmmy” have been replaced with me repeatedly calling them and falling on deaf ears. They no longer are fighting for my attention, rather they want nothing to do with me. That happened so fast! I didn’t realize all those years of trying to escape for the “me” time that before I knew it or was ready for it, I’d have nothing but “me” time. Getting a child to go anywhere with me, watch any show with me, or (G-d) forbid snuggle/touch me. I remember too clearly those times of wanting personal space and not have everyone hanging on me all the time. I didn’t realize that phase in our lives would be so fleeting.

So now this circles back to this blog, having “me” time and prioritizing writing again. It’s not that I have an excess of free time – hell, keeping this kitchen stocked with 2 growing boys is no easy feat. However, I’ve gotten to thinking about what that next chapter will look like and be. One thing that’s constant in life is change. And no matter how prepared we are for the next transition (um, college in a year and a half?!?!), there’s bound to be ambivalence with what’s to come. Maybe it’s embracing having opportunities to revisit things that I otherwise couldn’t when life was different like writing this blog.