Forget flowers and presents, this is what I want for Mother’s Day.
I want one day where my kids…
1. Do exactly what I say and never once say NO! (Can you imagine saying “no” when your parents asked you do to something?! I certainly can’t!)
2. Similar to the aforementioned request, when I say “put your shoes on.” PUT THEM ON! Don’t make me ask you 345,000 times to do so!!!
3. Eat the healthy parts of your meals. Don’t make me negotiate bites in order to make you eligible for desert consumption.
4. When it’s time for bed, don’t make me jump through 75 hoops to get you to go to sleep. Just do the routine and go to sleep. End of story…literally.
5. When you ask me something, pay attention to your tone. I don’t want to hear any requests at an octave higher than your normal voice (NO WHINING!!!).
6. Similar to number 6, don’t let your vocal range extend past an inside talking voice. They don’t need to hear you fighting with your sibling in China.
7. When you take off your clothes, make sure they make it to the dirty clothes. Why should anyone have to go through an obstacle course of dirty clothes to get through your room.
8. Similar to number 7, wear the ONE outfit you start with in the morning ALL day through! As much as you may think that I love laundry, I do not. The 17 outfits you get dirty in the course of the day are driving me nuts. Please give me one day of one outfit.
9. Similar to number 8, let me dress you in one of the many gorgeous clothes that I, or a loving family member or friend, have purchased. Can one day go by that you don’t look like a homeless person? Or a sports player?
10. Could you spend the day actually getting along? Could everyone keep their hands on their own bodies? Could everyone keep their insults inside their own brain? Could everyone play with their toys in a sharing, caring fashion?
11. Similar to 10, could you actually play with toys and be creative instead of acting like a zombie with your face in a screen? Can you not nudge me for screen time when you are not with a screen? Can you go through the day without checking one score? Could you have “quiet time” with books and coloring?
12. Could you put away toys that you play with upon completion of playing?
13. Could you eat your meal and not nag every two seconds for a snack? Could the snack you do choose be a fruit, vegetable or protein?
14. Is it possible for your shoes to make their way inside the cubby instead of next to the cubby where I trip on them? When I say I’d like to take a trip, that’s not the trip I had in mind.
15. Could I spend the day cleaning only one butt? The one that belongs to me 🙂
I realize that these may be lofty requests. I’d probably settle for even just one of these accomplished. But the truth is that this is the way our life rolls. And maybe I’m a masochist or something but I love my life. I love my kids and I’m grateful that they have made me a mom. So if I’m not going to get any of these things, maybe we should go back to just some flowers and presents.