Nothing brings me greater joy than when we are all together as our fabulous fivesome. I can’t help but feel like every time one of us is away that part of my heart is missing. That being said, there is no greater stress in the world than when my children are together.
When Drew has one-on-one attention, he is a self-confident, sweet, considerate boy. My heart swells with how much I love him and I’m so impressed with the person he has grown to be. When Gabby is by her lonesome, she is a good listener, affectionate and easy going. When Noah is solo, his silly, happy personality is obvious.
When all three are together, Drew is a strong willed bully, Gabby is a defiant mean girl and Noah is a crabby clingy baby. This is even worse when I am alone with them. Sibling rivalry is alive and well with everyone competing for my attention. There is not enough of me to go around, there is not enough attention to be had and therefore it is survival of the fittest.
Nothing brings me more stress than when we are together as our less than best foursome. Since we spend a LOT of time as this lovely foresome, I have to find a way to make this work. It’s not even the fact that it is incredibly hard on me, it’s more the fact that it cannot be healthy to grow up in an environment like this – where no one can really be heard and I’m throwing responses at everyone because there’s some other burning issue I have to handle.
I’m coming off of 4/5 days with Adam gone. I’m probably not blogging from a good place. And I reiterate my mantra, I wanted this. Well, maybe not the absentee husband part. I wanted a life of crazy kids, being at home and getting my hands dirty. Thanks to my amazing husband I am doing it and I’m doing it with manicured nails while going to my gym. Could be worse! But I dreamed up this life in an airbrushed model sorta way. I want it to be neat and easy. It’s not. Bottom line, I just want to raise well-adjusted, happy kids and not completely lose every sense of me while trying. Is that fair?