Your brain is a discounting mechanism.
It all makes sense now! I’ve been reading “Where’d You Go, Bernadette” by Maria Semple. They talk about how your brain grows accustomed to certain things; therefore dulling your original feelings for them. For instance, you get something new that you absolutely love but over time your love for that item fades because you get used to it.
When Adam first took this job, the concept of his absence in the morning made me a nervous wreck. How was I supposed to get three children ready for school in the morning with a single pair of hands? Over time I have acclimated to it. Getting the kids ready in the morning is…doable. The first time Adam went away on business I enlisted my parents to come help every evening to cushion the deficit. Now that Adam has been traveling every week/every other week, I’m managing.
I attribute this to the discounting mechanism. Over time the fear becomes muted and the actions become routine. Believe me, I’m not happy that life has become normal without Adam around. I am, however, exceptionally proud of myself for not only being able to steer the ship but being able to do it without having a nervous breakdown. Success.
There are so many times that I feel a tremendous urgency to purchase a MUST HAVE item, or something happens that feels so very DIRE, and those feelings fade. That item, although a must have, eventually will become just another item that sits idle in my closet. That situation that feels so tremendous will probably become something that I can barely remember down the road. Of course our brain is setup to feel these things intensely at first and less with time. I guess that’s where the saying that everything gets easier with time comes in.
This doesn’t mean that I’m going to have a fourth child because with time even that will get easier. No matter how accustomed you get to your circumstance, having kids is never easy. At the end of the day if you can say that it has gotten more manageable to care for those kids, I think that’s gotta count for something. Right?