The Art of Competition

Drew brings competition to an extreme level. He is so athletically minded that it’s really no surprise but it’s getting out of control. Today he bent my license plate and broke my license plate holder while trying to steam roll Gabby in order to be the first one in the house!!!

Whether it’s watching a sporting event or playing a sport in class, he is a wreck if he doesn’t win. We used to play this to our advantage, “who’s going to be the first one up the stairs?” Etc. etc. The ramification of it not being Drew (even if it is infrequent) is so bad that it makes any benefit of speeding up the process not worth it.

When watching a random team play a sport, he can succumb to tears if whichever team we are “rooting” for doesn’t win. When playing a sport, he berates the other team if he doesn’t win. The temper tantrum that occurs if Gabby gets in the car first or tub first is so unbearable that we are so conditioned to not allow such a thing to occur.

We have been working on gradual “losing” strategies like giving him acclidades for smaller feats, while ultimately allowing him to win. But it doesn’t seem that we are getting anywhere and the problem seems to be getting worse. At this rate, I’m not sure how he will be able to keep friends with this attitude. Nobody wants to be the loser every time and believe me no one wants to deal with the wrath of Drew if he doesn’t win.

Recently I have been so pleasantly surprised with his progress. He is learning to self regulate social situations, manage his emotions better and just be a more compliant kid (although he still has a long way to go with this stuff at home). And I’m hopeful that some of this is just an immaturity thing that will come with time.

However, all of us know some adults who have never really grasped the art of losing. All of us know someone who always has to be right, always has to know more, and always has to be first. I certainly want to maintain Drew’s passion for sports, his assertive personality which can be a huge asset in some cases and his excitement that is contagious. I do want it to be appropriate and not at the cost of his sister’s or friends’ feelings. Any tips???