The Eternal Debate Continued!

July 11, 2012

I have a friend who works full time. She has a nanny who is amazing and does everything! She does all the cooking, the cleaning, the laundry, the errands, getting the kids’ bags situated and lunches packed, etc. And as a result, my friend gets to come home and be fun. That’s her main responsibility once she walks in the door.

Of course this situation is an age ‘ole argument between working and stay at home moms. I’ve discussed this issue in all sorts of different ways as my working status has changed over the years. But my perspective is a little different now.

In seeing the circumstance my friend comes home to, I started to get really jealous. I, too, could be a fun mom if I didn’t have to worry about all those details. How great would it be to walk in the door and your main responsibility be to play with your kids? Especially after a day of adult interaction followed by a relaxing train ride of decompression!

Rather I spend every minute of my day (minus my exercise break) with a little being no further than a step away from me. My adult correspondence mostly consists of my ten minute conversations with my workout buddies. And at the end of the day, the fun play time has strictly been the silly songs I sing with them in the car while chauffeuring them to the myriad of activities or outings we have.

I am jealous. My friend really found a way to have her cake and eat it too. I want to not be consumed by the details that keep this family running. I want to be able to let my hair down and know that all the heavy lifting has already been lifted! Her kids have a larger quantity of quality time with her than my kids have with me and I’m with them all day! How is that possible?!?

Of course that would mean that I would have to have the capability of really letting down my hair. Who am I kidding? I would never really be able to pull that off. I would never be able to go with the flow in the way she does by letting her nanny take care of all those details. So really what I’m yearning for is to be a person different than the one I am.

Change. It’s as easy as that, right? I’m sure some of you laid back, don’t stress the small stuff kinda people think its as easy as that. Without sounding like an excuse, I REALLY am who I am. Those are attributes to my personality that are so ingrained in me, there’s no undo-ing them.

So what is the conclusion, the moral to this tale? I’m not sure there is one. But I think my friend and other working mothers deserved a shout out for finding ways to do it all. I’m so proud of her, I’m so proud of her ability to be such a great mom while conquering the world. And maybe some day I can learn a thing or two from her…or at least her nanny because she runs that family like a well oiled machine with amazingly well behaved kids!

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