Drew’s obsession with sports is something he wears on his sleeve. Quite literally actually since he wears his jerseys every day of his life. And although it is something I find hard to relate to at times, I have to embrace the fact that it is so clearly a self-motivated passion.
Drew’s Coach from sports class recently mentioned how Drew is obviously going to be a basketball player because his abilities far exceed the other children his age. I was so much more thrilled than if the Coach had complimented me directly. I was not excited in that “I want to live through my kid” sorta way and I was also not thrilled in that “he’s a specimen of me so that must speak highly of me” sorta way either. I was strictly excited because of how happy it would make Drew.
Years ago I remember watching a parent of an Olympic athlete being interviewed on the Today Show. They were asking the parent if that parent had always encouraged that child to be an Olympian. The parent, with beaming pride, explained that as soon as the child expressed an interest, he devoted his life to supporting that child. I remember thinking that I felt pretty confident that that would not be my approach.
As a child I danced. And growing up I was pretty good at it. I was given the opportunity to dance for my dance school’s company, I auditioned and made the dance group in junior high and high school. But at some point I had to learn that I was JUST good. It was not going to be anything more than a fun hobby I had growing up. It was a devastating realization because I was brought up to think I could be anything I wanted, and if that meant a ballerina so be it.
For little boys, I imagine that to be much harder. Of the percentage of boys who aspire to be Michael Jordan (or D. Rose in this case) or Ryan Sandberg, how many of them actually become that? I would never want to put a damper on Drew’s dreams but the reality of life can be so devastating that I would like to shield him some way. But I would never want my concerns of disappointment to cloud his adolescent hopes.
I felt so happy for Drew when the Coach mentioned his strong skill set because I want all of Drew’s dreams to come true. He’s never going to be happy sitting on the bench, and I want him to get his time on the court. But what happens if after he puts in all this hard work, all his passion and all his heart and he still winds up on the bench? How do I, as his parent, protect him from that? How was that parent of the Olympian so able to unconditionally support his child when so many people before them failed at that very same attempt? Where is there room for reality in a child’s dreams?
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Since he was about Drew’s age, my son declared he was going to be a major league baseball player. He was, of course, the best player on his summer baseball teams all his growing up years, he played his heart out, he practiced his heart out. When he was about 12, I said to him once, “maybe you should think about something else you might want to do when you grow up.” I said it because I was worried he would be devastated if he didn’t make it. Let’s face it. Not very many make it. His answer was “Mom, don’t you believe in me?” I was devastated. I learned, No, you don’t quash the dream. You never want to quash the dream.
Yikes! I guess at some point you just have to jump on board and brace yourself. I remember my mom telling me that certain things hurt her just as much as they hurt me…I think I may get that now. Thanks for commenting. And I think Ethan may end up playing for the major leagues yet!
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