We’re in the cool club!

September 3, 2009

I’m learning that you never really get over those feelings of wanting to be included by the cool crowd. It starts when you are young (at least it did for me), follows you through the traumatic years of junior high, travels to tumultuous high school and meets you in chaotic college. However as a grown up with a child, you may think it stops mattering. Last week I got an email from one of the mom’s in Drew’s class inviting us for a play date. It was a group email so I thought she invited the class but I later found out that she invited a select few from both her daughter’s class and her son’s. I was one of five selected to be in the elite play group!!! I’ve never been a part of a play group, I have never been to this infamous (as I have learned) Nibbles, I don’t even know play group protocol! All I know is that I feel good…good to be included, good to be considered cool enough to be invited to post-school get togethers, good to be in the cool crowd. The question is, when does it stop mattering? Am I so insecure, even though I perceive myself as a successful adult, that I need another mother to confirm my value? Ultimately, am I going to spend my whole life looking for unimportant people to validate me? I remember my grandma telling me a story last year about being “left out” of a social gathering. At that time I considered that she was 80, what difference does it make at that point? Perhaps there are some people, some secure people, that don’t care if they are in the cool crowd. Those of us who care, may be destined to a life of constantly hoping to be included. Well into our 80s, we’re still going to hope to be included. Fortunately for me, I was included this time around. I’m sure there are going to be times in the future I won’t be included. The moral of this story is that I need to reflect from within and find a way to not let the inclusion (or lack thereof) define who I am or how I feel about myself. Anyone else have good practice with that?

2 thoughts on “We’re in the cool club!

  1. Well I agree with anonymous, you are certainly the coolest of the cool!
    As for your question when does it stop mattering, I think never. It makes us feel good to be wanted or accepted and thats ok. But it will change. Eventually as your kids grow, it becomes less important if your cool enough to be invited. Kids start to have opinions of their own and then they have to be cool enough on their own to get invited somewhere. What matters most now is that you're putting him out there to possibly make life long friends. And whats the harm if you end up with a couple too!

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