Most jobs or schools give you an evaluation or progress report. They provide some document where your abilities are assessed. Over three years ago I quit my job to take on the full time role of mommy. Neither Adam nor the kids have reviewed my performance but I have a feeling that if they did, I’d be scored pretty badly.
If the criteria is that I’ve managed to keep my kids alive, then I suppose I’d get an A+ – actually more like an A- there were a couple of close calls 😉 We are able to get up an out, where we need to be in a given day. I think that deserves a c+ or B- since we are frequently late, disheveled and I most definitely have to scream my head off to get us going. Usually I’m pretty good about maintaining a relatively decent bedtime since I’m so exhausted at the end of the day. Therefore, I’d give myself a B+ in the sleeping area.
I think the most obvious place where there is significant room for improvement (which is the teacher way of nicely saying I downright suck) is with sibling rivalry. The nonstop struggle to get mom’s attention, coupled with the obvious constant attacks both physical and mental, are out of control. My lack of commitment to discipline doesn’t help matters. Who do you punish when two kids start fighting? The one who initiated it? Or the one who knows better and progressed it to a higher level? What punishment is appropriate when nobody really cares about “timeout” and any other punishment seems like more of a punishment for me?
Another area that I am completely sub-par is getting my kids to be polite. It’s not just saying please and thank you, which is frequently lacking (“I neeeeeeeed a snack!!!!”). It’s greeting family members warmly. It’s the ability to communicate what you do/don’t like instead of screaming, hitting or tantruming. It’s allowing another child to press the elevator button since you pressed the outside button. Basic politeness that goes far in your life.
As a very type A person who works so hard to always be the best at everything, it’s very hard for me to handle my disappointment with myself. I thought dedicating my life to my kids would be more rewarding than my job. I would not trade the fact that I know my kids so well and I get to be a part of their every day. But I am constantly disappointed that I am not better at this whole parenting thing. I feel like the inmates are running the asylum and I don’t know how to reel it in when I’m so outnumbered. My progress report is overall at a D+. I will re-evaluate in six months. At this point there will be no merit increase.