August 25, 2014

You know those people who march outside of hotels, construction sites, restaurants, etc. with their large signs and the huge blow up rats? I want my sign, I want my blow up rat, I want to go on strike. I need the Union of Mommies to negotiate a better contract. I’m getting the short end of the stick.


I get it that being a mother can sometimes feel like a thankless job. I’m not expecting a round of applause for a good tushee cleaning. If my kids sat down to dinner and thanked me for my hard work, I’d probably die of shock. And by no means am I expecting for them to take it easy on me, although a girl can dream.

It’s the part where I have to be the maid of the house that bothers me. I don’t remember that being in the job description. I understand that I must cook and clean, I’m responsible for the laundry, I make sure that everyone has the appropriate thing for school, camp, etc. Those things I don’t mind and have come to do seamlessly.

It’s the fact that everyone drops their clothes, toys, snacks wherever they damn choose that bothers me. Even further, they want what they want when they want it regardless for any consideration (certainly not of me or what I am doing at the present moment) for where they left it last.

“MOM!!!!!!!!!! I NEED my Jeter jersey NOW!!!!!!!!!!!”
“Well honey, it must be on the floor with the seventy-five other jerseys that you dropped there expecting ME to clean up.”

Of course it never actually goes that way. Most of the time it’s nicely hung, put into a drawer or placed with the other similar toys. And why is it relatively easy to uncover, because I spend my life making sure our house, our things are tidy and put away nicely. I do this so that they either stay nice (or as nice as possible given that my kids eat like slobs) or are “easy” to find when you need them. But NO ONE, I repeat NO ONE (including my husband), helps me with this task. In fact, they are constantly making it harder!!! Yet, they still want what they want when they want it.

I’m too OCD psycho to completely give up and allow complete chaos. But I’d like to hang my sign proud, I’m going on strike! I refuse to continue to live in a trashed car, so children it’s time to throw out your wrappers. I will not trip over a pair of shoes, so children you will not get your snack or whatever until you kindly put them in their cubby. If you want a toy, article of clothing, or whatever you deem urgent at the moment, you are going to have to take some time and look for it, put it away upon completion and generally just participate in keeping your things nice! Or I will start a Union of Mommies and see how you like our demands then!!!

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