STRESS

I’ve been feeling under the weather, so I went to the doc. He asked me if I ever feel stressed. WHAT?! Is it possible to NOT feel stressed? Isn’t stress a constant? It’s like someone asking if it’s ever windy in Chicago.

In order for a given day to run smoothly, I must rally the troops, take inventory on what the upcoming days schedule entails, and pass out assignments. There isn’t a day where someone doesn’t have to be shuffled one place while another shuffled in a different direction. I’m pretty much an airplane control center waving flags to dictate which terminal the planes land while simultaneously landing the planes…hmmmm it’s a good thing that analogy isn’t literal.

Then I also become Mario (you know from Super Mario Brothers) who has to jump over those little turtle things, flaming balls and other crawling enemies. Here’s a little poop explosion, followed up by the Blackhawks losing (i.e. HYSTERIA), naptime gone awry (i.e. more HYSTERIA), concluding with some pink eye. Just an average Sunday in my life! It’s no wonder that I hit the bed so very hard at night, all that jumping is enough to wear anyone out!

You mean to tell me that those angels you post pictures of ALL THE TIME are the reason for your stress?!? The doctor, while running an hour behind schedule, told me I wasted my time coming in. I experienced one of the most annoyingly circular conversations with the dry cleaner. I had the opportunity to fight with the basement contractor. And I forgot to bring our wonderful preschool teachers’ flowers on teacher appreciation day. No, my maniacal kids aren’t the ONLY reason.

So yes doc, I am stressed! I make a Wall Street trader look calm! What’s your point?!?! I wouldn’t get so sick if I calmed down??? Try a day in my life and you tell me HOW that is possible. You tell me HOW to NOT lose your cool at a dinner with a baby screaming, a toddler having a temper tantrum and an almost five year old jumping from chair to chair. I dare you…