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Freedom!!! | mommy's two cents


April 23, 2013

I was with a friend over the weekend who looked at Noah and sighed that she wanted one (a baby). I told her to enjoy what she has now – freedom. Easy for me to say…

This weekend marks the first of three consecutive weekends of babysitters. One would think that I would be ecstatic at the opportunity to get away from my monsters. The truth is that sometimes it’s even harder to be away from them.

For one, my parents are managing the load of three consecutive weekend getaways. Although they seem to never get enough of my children, it’s a lot for them on top of the five week days they “work” for me in some capacity. I do, however, think it’s only fair for them to put in some extra hours given the Italian vacation they have ahead. How will I survive without them?!?

Secondly, the logistics that go into being away from them sometimes is so overwhelming that it makes the getaway just not worth it. There’s pumping, there’s packing, there’s planning meals…there’s shooting myself in the head because it’s really only a couple hours away for all this work!!!

I have never been shy in expressing that my kids are CRAZY LUNATICS! So now I have the additional anxiety that my kids are going to give my parents a hard time. Gabby sporadically decides to go on a potty strike, Noah can go into an explainable hysterical fit and Drew…well, he’ll probably be fine as long as his gp’s give him everything he wants (which they probably will).

To my friend that yearns for a baby, I say enjoy the phase you are in. I wouldn’t change my life, chaos and all, for anything in the world. But I think I may never be 100% content ever again. When I’m with my rugrats, I’m overwhelmed and exhausted, wishing for a night away. When I’m away from them, I’m nervous and uncomfortable, wanting to know everything they are doing. I’d like to revisit the world without kids for a night out on the town of just fun and games. But for now I will have to settle for a meal with my cell phone on the restaurant table. I will have to settle for lugging my pump on the train down to the city. I will settle for an evening of adult conversation, waiters and clothes hopefully without spit up stains while my heart will be with those stinking monsters.

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