The pain of change

Change. It sounds like an easy enough word. It seems like in most contexts it should be an easy enough concept. Change is under-rated. Think about the woman whose husband beats her. She prays of the day she can get out of this diseased relationship but taking that first step, changing, is beyond comprehension. My job has changed. I have a new manager, new partner and new accounts. When my job was on the line, I thought having the satisfaction of just having my job would be enough to sustain me. Now, however, as I embark on the unknown with my new manager, new partner and new accounts – I doubt my original thoughts. My previous manager was not perfect, he had room to grow as a leader. My relationship with my previous partner was not flawless. My accounts did not always thrill me. Yet starting from scratch, as rewarding as it may ultimately be, does not make me happy. It’s not that I fear my failure, because I refuse to accept that I will fail with any of these three challenges. It’s really the fact that change is uncomfortable. Would I not have these problems if everything could have stayed status quo? Well, I definitely wouldn’t have had these problems but there would be another set of problems. Complacency. It sounds like a hard word. It seems like in most contexts it would be hard to get there. Think about the person that gets so good at their job that they love getting out of bed every morning, end of story. Well, that person is not me. I’m only as good as the last impossible task I overcame. I have been extremely successful with my current accounts, I had a wonderful relationship with my manager and my partner and I have been working great together. I was due for a new challenge. If I was not given a challenge, I would have become bored which would have become the demise of my career. I get it. Yet, why is change so hard? Why am I so reluctant to start over? Why do I long for my previous status quo? I suppose it’s always the battle any introspective person has been their brain and heart. I already miss my accounts, I’m sad to separate from my partner and I’m devastated about my manager. Yet I know myself enough to know that around the corner lingers the potential for even more success. It doesn’t make the sting, the yearn, the pain of change any less.